Nathan will have his follow up appointment next Tues at UCSF. His palate isn’t completely closed yet. There is an opening on his left palate. I wonder if this opening will eventually close over time. After surgery, his doctor did mention that there is still an opening on the palate. I wonder if it is common to leave some parts of the palate open even after surgery especially for kids with bilateral cleft palate. I guess I will ask the doctor next week.
Nathan cried a lot today. When I was feeding him, he cried. Since I thought he might be in pain, I gave him something to ease the pain. But it didn’t help. He didn’t want his milk either. When I put him down next to his toys, he didn’t want to play. All he wanted to do was cry or be silent. I played with him a bit but he just stared at me. He loves playing with TV remote controls or cell phones. So I gave him one of our very old TV remote controls. He played with it for a while but got frustrated after few minutes. Then he cried again. So I laid him down on the couch next to me. He eventually stopped crying. When it was time for me to change his diapers, he cried again because I had to pick him up. He didn’t want to even go to his bedroom because he knows that is where I always change his diaper. He stopped crying once I laid him back down again. All he did was just stare at the ceiling and was motionless. I gave him a bath today. Normally, he loves splashing the water in his bath tub. But this time, he only stared at the water. He didn’t even smile. Yesterday, he was OK. He did cry yesterday but cried a lot more today.
When my husband came home, Nathan was more cheery. All he wanted was his daddy. I noticed it before but today was more prominent especially after our son’s surgery. Before Nathan’s surgery, he would come to me and Nelson but he would rather be held by Nelson. After Nathan’s surgery, all he wants is to be with his daddy. Since my husband wanted to be the one to stay with Nathan in the hospital overnight, my son and him had made some special connection or bonding. This past weekend, Nathan didn’t cry as much because his dad was around. But when Nelson went to work yesterday and today, our son has been crying. When Nelson came home from work today, Nathan just wanted to get carried by his daddy. When I picked him up, he cried. When I gave him to Nelson, he stopped crying. When I fed him dinner, he cried. But when Nelson watched Nathan eat, Nathan stopped crying. When Nelson walked away, Nathan cried again. After I changed Nathan’s diaper before he goes to sleep, Nathan got up and he walked towards daddy. I told Nelson that our son is daddy’s boy. Now that I think about it, our son cries because he misses his daddy! I thought he cries because of pain from surgery. Well I am sure he still feels some pain from time to time until I give him medication to ease the pain. But I know that he cries because he misses his daddy as well.
Our adoption agency and my adoption group have said that the adopted child will attach himself or herself to one parent in the beginning. Our son has been with us for almost two months. Right now, he is daddy’s boy and not mommy’s boy.